The title of this post is the last line of the movie, The Maltese Falcon. The words are spoken by Sam Spade. The words are a reply to the cop, Tom Polhaus, who lifts the lead statue from the table. “Heavy,” he says. “What is it?”

Sam Spade takes the statue from Tom, moves to the stairs in the hall and says, “The…uh…stuff that dreams are made of.”

The line wasn’t part of the original script by John Huston and didn’t appear in the novel by Dashell Hammett, either. The line was provided by Humphrey Bogart, who had a familiarity with Shakespear’s plays.

. . . . . . . . . . . . “We are such stuff
As dreams are made on, and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep.” (IV.i.156-58). from The Tempest, by William Shakespere

Last night I had a strange dream

Gone are the days when I slept all through the night

I usually go to bed around nine and come awake in the dead of night…cuz I gotta pee. I crawl back in bed and just lay there, thinking how much my life sucks. I’ll lay in my berth, toss’n and turn’n, for longer than I like until finally I fall asleep again. That’s when I dream.

Last night I had a strange dream.

I’m on a boat, drifting down a wide river. I’m young again. I’m always young in my dreams. I’m not some old dude with an enlarged prostate…gloomy as hell…fretting over my ailments. My dream self is full of energy.

The river I’m drifting down is the Nile River. Beats me why I’m in Egypt. Maybe I was reading about Egypt before I went to bed. I don’t know. Yeah…I see it on my Google history. Several web sites about Ancient Egyptian Religion. Well, that solves that mystery. But hold on a minute. I’m not dreaming I’m in Modern Day Egypt. I’m dreaming I’m in Ancient Egypt. The land of the Pharaohs. Back when men where men and dogs were gods!

This Dog God was very important to us Ancient Egyptians…

But before I go any further,

Let me give you a bit of context to this crazy ass dream I had last night

Life in the land of Ancient Egypt. Could be I’m one of those dudes up in the right corner.

By the late pharaonic era (664–332 BC), Anubis was often depicted as guiding individuals across the threshold from the world of the living to the afterlife.^[38] Though a similar role was sometimes performed by the cow-headed Hathor, Anubis was more commonly chosen to fulfill that function. wikipedia

One of the roles of Anubis was as the “Guardian of the Scales.”^[41] The critical scene depicting the weighing of the heart, in the Book of the Dead, shows Anubis performing a measurement that determined whether the person was worthy of entering the realm of the dead (the underworld, known as Duat). By weighing the heart of a deceased person against ma’at, who was often represented as an ostrich feather, Anubis dictated the fate of souls. Souls heavier than a feather would be devoured by Ammit, and souls lighter than a feather would ascend to a heavenly existence. compliments of A.I.

I needed to look up all this stuff so’s I might understand what my crazy ass dream was all about.

Okay, back to my Dream…

I’m drifting down the Nile River.

I’m aboard a reed boat. It looked kind of like this:

We’re drifting past palm trees along the shore. Got the broad Nile River all around. It don’t feel all that hot. Mainly cuz this is a dream. Least ways I don’t remember feeling hot in the dream. I remember feeling the reeds under my feet. And I’m pretty sure I’m dreaming about Ancient Egypt. How do I know this? We drifted past this big ass temple. I was struck by the enormity of it. Maybe it was a theme park.

Anyway, I’m on this reed boat, drifting, drifting, drifting….

But I’m not alone. I got some boyhood friends along for the ride. The Egan Brothers!

Ricky and Rodger.

That’s Ricky on the left. We nicknamed him Jellyroll after this infamous leader of a detroit gang called Egan’s Rats…but that’s another story. Rodger is on the right. Rodger the dodger. The smooth talker. Rodger with that crazy long frizzy hair of his. We all had long hair back then. Back then would be what? 1972 or thereabouts. That’s when the above picture was taken and that’s what they looked like in my dream.

Yes. We are drifting down the Nile, the three of us. We are in Ancient Egypt. How do I know this?

Cuz Ricky and Rodger are Grave Robbers.

“I’m not a Grave Robber,” Rodger says. “I’m a Temple Thief.”

Jellyroll laughs. “Rodger’s right. There’s honor among Thieves!”

Jellyroll’s steering the boat.

Rodger’s kicked back on the bow, drinking Ancient Egyptian Wine from a clay pot. He kills off the wine and tosses the pot overboard. I watch it drift past. Man, I could’ve used a hit of that wine.

“Hey Gloomy, ” Rodger says, “let me show you what we got.”

“More wine?”

“Something better.”

“Way better,” Jellyroll says.

Rodger digs his hand into the reed deck and pulls out this statue.

Rodger hands me the statue.

“Man, it’s heavy. What is it?

“The stuff that dreams are made of.”

“Hey Rodger,” Jellyroll says. “What do you think? Should we let Gloomy in on the deal?”

“What deal?’

“We met this guy,” Jellyroll says. “Rodger met him at a club. He sez we can have half of everything we steal. What’s he called, Rodge? I forget.”

“Amenpanufer” [click the link for more info on Amenpanufer,]

“Amenpanufer?”

“We call him Amen for short.”

“Anyway, Amen sez we can keep half of what we steal.”

“Why only half?”

“He’s the Fence. That’s why.”

“Man, Gloomy, half is a lot of loot!” Rodger says.

“That’s not all.” Jellyroll says. “Check this out.”

And this!

“Hey wait a minute. You told me you’re a Tomb Thief. You gonna rob his grave?”

“Maybe we’ll rob his grave just a little bit.”

“Who’s tomb is it?”

“Rameses the 9th. We’re almost there. He’s buried in the valley of the Kings. I got the keys from Amen.”

“So we could use a third guy on the score. You in?”

“I’m thinking about it.”

“Well you better think quick,” Jellyroll says. “I’m about to dock this tub.”

“You say it’s a sure thing?”

“We’ve got the exact location. The grave is sealed. We’ve got the keys. The tomb we plan to hit aint Rameses 9. He’s already been hit. The tomb we’re gonna hit is smaller but full to the brim with loot. It’s the tomb of his consort.”

“Consort?”

“Rama Lama,” Jellyroll says. “That’s her name.”

“Rama Lama? That’s it? Rama Lama?”

“Yeah. She was his favorite consort.”

“Rama Lama Ding Dong?”

“No. Just Rama Lama.”

Jellyroll docks the boat

Rodger grabs a bag of break-in tools from the pilothouse and leaps onto shore. Jellyroll ties off the boat. The two of them stare at me. “You coming?” Rodger says.

“I’m thinking about it.”

“He’s thinking about it,” Jellyroll says. He laughs. The big bellowing laugh he has. “Gloomy’s thinking about it.”

“Let him think about it.”

They turn and move off up the trail. I’m thinking. I’m thinking hard. I take off after them.

I follow the trail up a bank and into a grove of palms. They couldn’t have gotten this far. But they’ve vanished. Then somebody steps from behind a palm. It’s Randy. The oldest brother.

Randy is standing beside the palm, smiling. As I come up to him he says, “Gloomy. Long time no see. What it is?“

“Been a long time.”

“Yeah…”

“Where’s Jelly and Rodger?”

“They went back. I sent them back.”

“Back where?”

“Where the Big Dog Dwells.”

“Who.”

“Anubis…..we call him the big dog. He runs the show after it’s over. He weighs your heart against an ostrich feather. If it weighs more than the feather, they got a bad ass God he gobbles up your soul. IF you got a light enough heart, that means you’re good. You don’t even need to pass with flying colors. If you’re just a tad heavy, they put you on probation, see how you do. They put us on Probation. Ricky almost didn’t make it. They figured three’s a charm. But my brothers keep screwing up. I’m trying to keep them in line. But you know how they are.”

“You were always the more sensible brother.”

“Anyway, they’re on probation. Me too. But at least I know how to follow the rules. I’m watching out for those two.”

“Make sure they don’t get gobbled up!”

“I’m working on it. Take care, Gloomy. I’ll see you when it’s your turn.”

He moves off.

“Hey Randy!”

“Yeah?”

“Who’s Rama Lama?”

He smiles. “Rama Lama Ding Dong.”

I watch him fade off up the trail. I’m staring at my pillow. The space heater in my V-berth roars to life. The galley heater’s humming. Rain patters my hatch. I’m back in the real world. Feels comforting. Randy died first. Lung Cancer. I didn’t see that coming. I figured Ricky would go first. He lived with Colon cancer for years. But soon after Randy died Ricky joined him. Rodger was the last to go. I don’t know how he died. Only that he died in a rest home. His sister, Robin, posted it on Facebook. I think about the Egan Brothers often and with nothing but fondness. They were my boyhood friends. If you love your boyhood friends maybe that counts against the ostrich feather. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see. The Egan Brothers. They coulda been Tomb Thieves. Why not? I could’ve been one myself.

Maybe I was…