The Mid Term Elections are upon us…almost.

The You Tube news sez we got a big wave landing Tuesday. Gonna wipe out the Republican Majority. Great! I’m all for it. Bring on the wave!

Today’s Sunday morning. I’m hanging at my Trumpy girlfriend Jill’s pad. I’m sitting at her dining room table, writing this blog post. I’m finally writing about the midterm elections. My goal was to write every day about the midterm elections. Keep track of the days. Give my two cents on the state of play so to speak. I blew it off when we were still 40 days out. Why? Cuz I was too busy watching the You Tube Mid Term Election News to write about it. Cuz writing about the Mid Term Elections felt like beating a dead horse. Cuz nobody knows how the midterms are gonna turn out. Everybody’s guessing. Especially the so-called experts. I’m no expert, either.

Everybody’s guessing about the fucking midterm elections.

I’m not gonna guess. The last time I made a guess about a big deal Election I guessed Kamala Harris would win the Presidency. I wasn’t crazy about her. But next to Donald Trump she would’ve been a second FDR…or a second Reagan if you happen to be a Republican reading this. My Trumpy Girlfriend is a Republican. No, wait a minute. She’s not a Republican. She’s a Trumpy.

I’m sitting at Jill’s dining room table. She’s at her usual spot on her kitchen sofa, where she multi views her Eye Pad and Fox News on her kitchen counter television. She has five t.v.s in various rooms. All of them lit up. All on the same channel. Fox news emits from each screen like Howdy Doody in Hell. It doesn’t seem to bother her that I basically spend my time sitting at her dining room table listening to my laptop with earphones on. I’m not hearing her very loud televisions. Sooner or later one of us with die or one of us will say enough already I’m done with you or maybe both of us will say enough already I’m done with you…or maybe nothing will happen until men come and transport both of us to a rest home or separate rest homes.

Anyway, so I’m sitting at the dining room table, watching an election forecast on my laptop. Jill my Trumpy girlfriend gets up from her spot in the kitchen and goes to the bathroom. I hear the toilet flush. She comes out and notices what I got on my screen.

She’s talking but I can’t hear. I see her lips move.

“What?”

“You do know that Republicans are under underestimated in the pols,” she shouts.

“What?”

“Republicans! You do know that don’t you?”

“Know what?”

“REPUBLICANS ARE UNDERESTIMATED IN THE POLS!”

I yank off my headphones. “All the Pols?”

“Yes! It’s called NONRESPONSE BIAS!

I’m smiling. This is what she’s hanging on to. What Fox News is hanging on to. Hanging on for dear life. Nonresponse Bias. I’m thinking fine. Live in a dream world of past elections. Back when a Trump act could float a sinking Titanic.

I don’t bother to explain my views on Trumpy’s reign to Jill because she’s got an answer for everything. A true MAGA droid will have it all figured out in spite of the blindingly obvious truth staring them in the face. So I just go back to Nate Silver’s website and his predictions that, by the way, kind of line up with every other predictor’s model across the board, right, left, and center. And what these models, all of them, represent is that Americans are finally fed-up with the Trumpy Lounge Act. They believe their lying eyes finally. Kind of like when you’re handed a life vest and there’s only one empty seat left in the lifeboat. And the ship’s bowswain’s mate offers it to you.

Monday 7:30 a.m.

I’m back on my boat, where there are no televisions. Not that I dislike television. It’s just that I don’t need television. I have my phone. I have my laptop. Both devices have YouTube access. You Tube provides me with all my needs and desires. And now that A.I. is absorbing all human life on the planet at an alarming and unretractable pace, I can just relax and anticipate my life as a robotic humanoid….

Nice and quiet down here on a Monday morning. Most of my neighbors don’t live on their boats. Nice to have neighbors who are never around.

Norm’s Prediction

I got back here yesterday. Sunday afternoon. I kicked back on my quarter berth and made some calls.

I gave my buddy Norm a call. As you know, Norm lives on a derelict boat docked at the Canal Marina. I like to keep tabs on Norm. Make sure he’s still floating.

Norm always picks up his phone when I call, which is nice.

“Hey, hey Gloomy! How you doing?”

“I’m fine. How are you doing?”

“Couldn’t be better.”

“Did you pay your rent?”

“No, but I’m only two months behind.”

“Did you steal anything today?”

“Of course.”

Norm shoplifts every day of the week. He never gets caught. I’m terribly impressed by this talent of his. The fact that he never gets caught is not in a league with Odysseus battling the Cyclops but it is up there somewhere. Norm says stealing and never getting caught has nothing to do with talent. He claims nobody ever gets caught these days. He keeps urging me to begin stealing too but something is holding me back. I could claim a misplaced morality but the fact is, I’m simply afraid of being caught and humiliated. It’s kind of like being a MAGA DROID and waking up to the fact that you’ve been played for a sap. Well, no, maybe not exactly like that.

“By the way, Norm. Are you planning to vote?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Every time I vote I get Jury Duty. Every single time.”

“I hear you…well, but what do you think? You think this is gonna be a huge blue wave?”

“Oh, yeah, baby. A fucking Tsunami!”

“What about the Governor’s Race? You think that’s a done deal?

“Steve Hilton? That dude is toast!”

I’m not worried that Steve Hilton might win the Governorship. Even if he did win, he’d be like a fly in a beehive. I can think back on Arnold. I almost have fond memories of Arnold. He was kinda moderate. Sensible even. Perhaps my memories are fooling me. Steve Hilton is not a moderate Republican. Now I’m thinking about it, Moderate Republicans are extinct.

“You sure Steve Hilton will lose?” I ask Norm.

“Sure as shit, baby.”

“Well, I guess we will see.”

Turns out Steve Hilton is behind in the pols. Okay, too bad for him. I do like the fact that Steve Hilton is willing to show up at a Project and hang out with Drug Dealers. I don’t like the fact that he’s a Fox News Broadcaster with views that align with Fascists, and Bigots masquerading as Patriots. My Trumpy girlfriend Jill thinks he’s just wonderful…

Lester’s prediction

I didn’t plan to call Lester. But it was Sunday afternoon. A week since my last beer delivery. He calls, like clockwork, every Sunday.

“So you’re awaiting a beer delivery?”

“Can you come right now? I’ll have a check for you.”

“I’ll be there tomorrow.”

“What time.”

“Around noon.”

“Okay. I’ll have a check for you.”

“Say Lester?”

“Yes?”

“What do you think? You think we’re looking at a Blue Wave Election?”

“I do. I certainly do.”

“Really?”

“Most emphatically.”

As long as I’ve known Lester, he’s been a doomsayer. He never looks on the bright side of an election. He predicted the Clinton loss. He predicted the Harris loss. But now he says we’re looking at a blue wave? Maybe we are looking at a Blue Wave.

“Trump says, pretend I’m on the Ticket.” Lester says.

“Yeah.”

“So it follows…he’ll be engulfed by his own wishes. By the way, could you bring me Modelo instead of Coors?

Gloomy’s prediction

Well, I guess I might as well say it like I see it. The Blue Wave is here and it’s gonna shock the pro predictors. It’s gonna sweep the field. Why? Cuz people finally see the light. They’ve come awake to Trumpy’s personal fake news. He said he’d only deport dangerous aliens and he sends goon squads into the streets where they scoop up restaurant works and pack em off to foreign prisons. He says he’s gonna end the Ukraine war on day one. He says he’s gonna keep us out of all wars and he invades Venezuela and Iran. The Iranians kick his ass. He says he’s gonna bring down grocery prices and gas prices and all kind of prices and what happens? Everything everything everything goes up. Naturally people are complaining about the high prices. So what’s he do? He rubs salt in their wounds. He says affordability is a hoax. Just yesterday he’s bragging about his Halloween party at Mara Lago. How he’s got all his rich goons living it up. Gobbling Caviar. He even had the rank stupidity to say–on television!–how he doesn’t really care about the high prices. He says prices are going up just “a liddle bit.” And it’s no big deal.

So who’s got Pie in the face?

Not Trumpy.

Most people don’t like getting pie in the face.

And that’s why I figure this time is finally up for the man.

People want a share of the pie, not pie in the face.

But we’ll see.