The Rat King Phenomenon

A rat king is a collection of rats or mice whose tails are intertwined and bound together in some way. This could be a result of an entangling material like hair, a sticky substance such as sap or gum, or the tails being tied together. wikipedia

Followers of the Rat King. Believers in the Rat King. All those in Proximity to the Rat King. A throne of knotted tails: the Rat King’s Legacy!

The Rat King and his Cabinet!

The Myth Of The Rat King

As a cryptid, the mythology tells of a rat leader (a king, naturally) that demands to sit high atop a throne of lower, pleasantly rats. This tangled, mangled nest of lesser rodents becomes a living dominion of nastiness, representing the twisted and evil nature of the one king sitting high atop his suffering legacy. A bit of AI

It may be that our current President is a Rat King.

But how can this be, here in the Good Old U.S.A?

It is happening because a unique kind of man beat the odds and became President. He won because he convinced many that he and he alone has the power to make them great again. And they believe him. Yes. They still believe him. But how? How can they believe in a man so obviously flawed? A man of appalling ignorance? A man who fucks-up again and again and again and again? How can millions of people continue to believe in him? Well…there are many reasons and many theories. My own is simple:

His soul is that of a great white Rat!

There’s that.

But there’s also the plain fact of the matter.

Which is this: Trump always wins. Even when he loses he wins. He beats all the odds. How does he do it? He goes broke…then he goes for broke. Ultimately he comes up smelling like…a rat…I mean a rose. That’s how he built Trump Tower. How he bankrupted three casino’s. He got the Russians to cover his costs. How he suffered two impeachments. Faced four Felony indictments. Yet vanquished his Prosecutors. How’d he do that? A simple coin toss: win the Presidency or Go To Prison. He went for broke! And he won! The Rat King always prevails. He owns the Republican Party. Call it the Rat King Party. He owns 70 million people. Call them Maga Droids. They voted for him. They love him. They are the subjects of the Rat King. The Rat King literally owns them. And they love being owned. My girlfriend Joan loves the Rat King. Why does she love the Rat King? B e c a u s e h e w i n s. He’s beyond Awesome! There’s nobody like him. He does what he says and he says what he does. Therefore he’s like a God.

Not God.

A God.

This is the Great White Rat King Mythos!

Meanwhile…I’ve been hanging out on Scruffy

Every day feels the same to me. When you’re an old fart you just chug along til you croak. You don’t worry too much about shit. That’s me. Anyhow, I’ve been hanging out on Ronnie’s boat. Used to be my boat. Now I’m renting it. That’s right, getting by on cheap rent. What am I doing? I’m eating Cheese. Drinking wine. Feeding my birds. Living the life, you know, the life of an old dude. Spring’s in the air, kinda. Cept for the occasional rain. Actually, Life’s been good to me, so far. I shouldn’t complain. I’m buying crackers on sale at Grocery Outlet. Two boxes for a buck. True, the use-by date is March 12. But my birds don’t mind…

They’ll eat anything. I’m eating the crackers myself. Shit. Two boxes for a buck. You can’t beat that. Can you? Just me, my gull pals, hanging out on Scruffy.

When was Liberation Day? Last Wednesday, I think. Yeah, April 2nd…

The Rat King came on T.V. and displayed his whacky Tariff Chart.

He announced, “Today is Liberation day.”

Then, promptly, the Stock Market Crashed.

Why did the stock market crash? Simple. Trump imposed Tariffs. Tariffs are one of his fuck-ups. A major fuck up. Remember, I told you, The Rat King always fucks up. He actually thinks tariffs are a winning strategy. At least he wants us to think that. Tariffs used to be a good idea, back in 1798 when we had no income tax and needed a way to fund the government. But since then, Tariffs have only hurt the economy. As this video will explain.

The Rat King’s Tariffs will be Voodoo Economics on steroids.

You may be confused. Why impose Tariffs on an economy that’s in good shape and humming along like a battery charged Tesla?

If it aint broke, fix it…

I love watching Trump’s Stooges (his cabinet members) try to explain away his latest bold move.

Treasury Secretary Doubles Down on Tariffs: ‘There Doesn’t Have to Be a Recession’

More objective observers have been at a loss to explain why Trump is doing this. Why is he trying to fix an economy that aint broke? Because the Rat King claims it’s broke. You gotta have a problem if you want a solution. Trump says we got a lot of sad ass people out there lost their jobs because the factories shut down. These are his people. He’s gonna bring em back some manufacturing jobs. Build factories. Make shit here. Make thousands of screws and screw these screws into Eye Phones. Yep. Bring back good jobs for his Maga Folks. This is why he’s imposing Tariffs. He’s looking out for his people.

Still…a tariff for every country in the world? Except Russia, of course. A tariff on everybody? A tariff even on a country populated by penguins?

Commerce chief Lutnick defends tariffs on islands with only penguin inhabitants: ‘No countries left off’

This could be tough deal for the citizens of Heard and McDonald Islands.

[By the way. Trump couldn’t care less about his people, those poor saps that voted for him. Suckers and Losers, all of them. What he really wants is a big fat pile of Tariff money to fund his Tax Breaks for the rich. He’ll get his poor saps that voted for him to pay for those Tariffs with higher prices. And that’s just fine. He’s the Rat King. He’ll still be a winner. How can he still be a winner if the economy tanks? Not a problem. Not for the Rat King. You watch. He will win. It just happens. It always happens. He’s a man I mean a Rat of rare self-confidence. This is why he plays golf while the stock market crashes. It’s part of his myth. A victory will come his way. You watch….]

The Rat King got bored

Finally, you may be wondering this:

Why these tariffs now? At the very beginning of his term in office? Why now, in the midst of his DOGE campaign to cut government spending? A more sober strategy would be to wait until he’s slashed our Medicare and Social Security. Wait a while for all that shit to settle. Doesn’t that make more sense? I’m sure that’s what Elon Musk is thinking. Well…the answer is simple:

The Rat King got bored.

Elon is doing all the work for him and our great leader has nothing to do but sit around and read the headlines his bro is getting.

It’s never good when other people get the attention.

The Rat King needs some big headlines. He needs to go big. He yearns to win. Make a big splash. Make things happen. Now. Right now. Especially now. Because he has the power. He can do anything he wants. Nobody will stand up to him. Not anymore. He has all his stooges waiting in line to do his bidding…

He’s the Rat King.

He rules the world…