I come awake this morning to bad news. The rain is coming. Next week possibly. Scruffy’s deck sealing project has lingered for months, while I dick around, making a blog, writing a novel, wasting my time with projects that wont help me keep the rain away. Forget the nuclear waste. I need to save the wood on this boat.

But first order of business. I gotta feed the little bastard. Ivan the Terrible. Maybe he could use a burger.

Maybe he could use some help. Where’s his wife, Belle? She sleeps in, I guess. Okay, so take your time and savor the impossible burger.

I gotta be careful with these images. Before you know it I’ll have the animal rights advocates on my ass. Well, but what’s the alternative? He eats dock piling mussels. Radioactive shit. Who knows what else? Can a Target burger be that bad? They sell the shit to me to eat. Not a bad deal either…8 pack of buns for 99 cents.

Christ, I need to get that deck sealed.

I’m looking at rescrewing all the loose teak slats. Then, I gotta recaulk the entire deck. So why am I blogging about it? This is crazy. This is about as crazy as posting my recipe pictures on facebook. Maybe I’m losing my mind. I’m blogging this shit instead of doing it. I think it’s time to give up the project entirely and just break out the tarps. Cover everything and go back to blogging…or napping.

Down the line I’m thinking I’ll sell Scruffy and use the money to buy a nice R/V.