I’m trying to get a handle on my Scruffy project. The rear deck I’m recaulking, etc., etc…I mean, I gotta tell you, it’s a tough job and I really should hire Edwardo to handle it since he’s the dock expert. He makes his living down here working on boats. He’s only thirty five bucks an hour. (He kind of charges less because he’s undocumented, okay?) The real dude (documented) charges 125 bucks an hour. That makes Edwardo the real dude.

Edwardo gave me a ballpark quote of fifteen grand to refinish all my wood decks. FIFTEEN GRAND. I know there’s plenty of you old Boomers out there who’d shell out fifteen large like it’s no big deal. But this is Scruffy. And I’m Scruffy. So I’m doing the work myself.

So I’m up this morning bright and early, determined to get a handle on my project. I’m having Trader Joe’s Cheerio’s. They call theirs Joe’s O’s but they’re exactly the same as the Cheerio’s in the Leave It To Beaver commercials. The difference, a big box is only 2.29. While a big box of the original Cheerio’s is 7.99. Hard to believe, eh? But that’s the way it works here in the good old U.S.A. You gotta keep your eyes open for deals…while at the same time you gotta watch you’re ass to keep from getting screwed. That’s how freedom works. I tried explaining this to Drake Bornheim, my telephone spiritual therapist, but he says all I’m doing is expressing my negativity. Drake’s getting 300 an hour from his “Normal” clients. He can afford to be Positive.

Anyway, today I’m trying to get beyond my negativity. I’m not thinking about the 250 thousand tons of Nuclear Waste that’s poised to destroy all life on this planet and nobody seems to give a shit. I’m not thinking of the criminal gross negligence of the Human Race. The soon to be deservedly extinct Human Race. No, I’m not. I’m thinking about one thing: fixing up old Scruffy…

So there you have it. The morning is brightening. i’m feeling positive. I’m having my JOE’S O’S. I got my dollar store aspirin at the ready. (I take one every morning for the old ticker…even though experts disagree as to the health efficacy of aspirin and some “experts” in fact warn about the dangers of taking aspirin…to the point where you’re tearing your thinning hair out wondering which “expert” to believe…this is yet another side effect of FREEDOM: too many “EXPERTS”.) I got my Cetol deck gloss, propping up the Joe’s O’s. What else? I got my sun screen. I need to apply generous portions of sunscreen to protect my aged skin. I bought this tube of sunscreen at the dollar store (now the 125 dollar store, thanks to INFLATION). This sunscreen is rated 50, which is pretty damned thick. I’m wearing sun screen even though certain “Experts” in the Medical Fields warn that sunscreen itself can cause cancer. So what do I do? Do I wear sunscreen and get cancer, or do I NOT wear sunscreen and get cancer?

Is there any fucking thing in the universe that does not cause Cancer?

Man, I gotta stay positive. I’m looking at a long day…