That’s because we got the jump on all the punks. We’re already old. By the time they reach middle age, we’ll be way way older. And by the time they’re old we’ll be really really old. You see how it works? They can’t win…

But don’t kid yourself about these punks. They’re watching us. Looking for cracks along the old fart wall. Eager to storm the ramparts. And once over the top, they’ll slay us like crippled swine and dine on our gizzards. They’ll zap us with tasers. Brain us with cudgels. Curl us like bacon with flame throwers. Young people love to kill the old. I explained this to you already in a previous post.

[see Thalaikoothal.]

Yet we live on and on in spite of the rat shits gunning for us. We just keep living. Old People are making it to 100 like it’s no big deal. I don’t want to live to 100. I would just rather not die….maybe have one of those “experts” freeze my ass before I die and stick me in storage until they figure out the afterlife.

Sounds like a deal.

(BTW…I’m not making up any of this.)

Reductions in mortality from heart disease are the major reason for this trend of old age longevity, but death rates from almost all major diseases typically experienced at older ages also have declined. Consequently, there has been an increase in life expectancy after age 65 and even after age 85. PRB.org

That’s right, we keep living.

And acting like young people.

I mean, check this out. Women are having kids well into their sixties.

Ana Obregón (pictured in December) said it had been her son’s ‘last wish to bring a child into the world’. Photograph: Atilano Garcia/SOPA Images/REX/Shutterstock.

Not only are old people having kids, they’re having kids with their dead kids!

I’m not making this up. Check it out.

Where does all this Longevity lead?

It’s leads to Death.

You gotta go sooner or later.

I mean, you could live to 90 and die. Or you could live to 99 or even 100 and die. You might even make it to 122 and die, like this old broad.

Jeanne Calment: the supercentenarian who met Van Gogh and lived to see Tony Blair elected PM . She just kept living. Sucking cigarettes. Swilling brandy. She even outlived her landlord

But sooner or later you’re gonna die

Know thyself, said the Philosopher. I’m kind of sick of myself after all these years. I wake up every morning and it’s still me. I’m like a boring old movie. But even old movies end. The cowpoke rides off into the sunset. I’m not a cowpoke. I suppose I could ride a skateboard off into the sunset…

A real easy exit would be to die in my sleep. No horse or skateboard to deal with. Yeah, that’s the ticket. Pass away in my sleep. One day I’ll wake up and I’ll be dead. Of course I wouldn’t wake up, would I? Now I’m thinking about it, if I die in my sleep will I even know I’m dead? I mean, I was asleep when I died. Maybe it was all a dream. I routinely have disturbing dreams. Perhaps one of my dreams will alert me of my sudden death.

That would be a real disturbing dream…

Going to Hell

People shun death because they’re afraid they might go to hell. They’ve done bad things in life. They believe they’ve been bad people. Many of them have been bad people.

Truly bad people don’t think they’re bad. Rather they feel they’ve been misunderstood or wronged or they don’t believe in goodness but in some form of Social Darwinism that justifies amorality.

The Fuhrer believed in Social Darwinism.

As for the rest of us. The not truly bad. Those of us who’ve done a few (or even more than a few) bad things.…and we feel bad about it. We’ll just poke along living with our fear of Hell. Many of us, myself included, have convinced ourselves that Hell does not exist.

But you never know, right?

Hieronymus Bosch’s Surreal Visions of Heaven and Hell.

I should make a confession

I’ve actually been to Hell.

All the stories about this particular afterlife are true.

Hell actually sucks.

Hell is an unincorporated community in Livingston County in the U.S. state of Michigan. As an unincorporated community, Hell has no defined boundaries or population statistics of its own. 

Okay, so maybe it doesn’t suck.

It’s certainly boring.

Like Boring, Oregon.

And Boring’s sister town, Dull.

Hell is nearly as dull as Boring Oregon…though Portland’s nearby.

Portland is a jumping town.

But anyway, Hell is suck ass…and to be avoided if possible.

So you want the Good Place

That’s the goal. People want to make it to Heaven. Because that’s where true contentment predominates.

After watching The Green Pastures, I have come to the conclusion that Heaven is a cool place.

I could go there.

I wouldn’t mind hanging there.

But how do I get to Heaven?

I just conferred with my chatbot and he said go to this link:

Heaven or not. net

I don’t know.

Sounds like a shit load of cold calling to me…

Maybe I’ll just die and see what happens.

That’s pretty much how I roll…