Life…have you figured it out yet?

I haven’t. Nobody else has, either. In fact, the meaning of life is beyond a human being’s capacity to figure-out. A way bigger brain than mine came to this conclusion over two hundred years ago. Immanuel Kant. A German Philosopher. A truly stellar Egg Head. He showed us how the “existence” of God is unprovable. While at the same time he allowed that the “non-existence” of God is also unprovable. Leave it to a German to back out through the front door. This led Kant to conclude that seeing how we can’t figure shit out (the existence of god, the meaning of life, etc.) we should at least be nice to each other. Treat our fellow human beings like human beings not objects you might step over on your way out the door. Then, wouldn’t you know it, another German Philosopher comes along, Friedrich Nietzsche, and, influenced by Kant, he concludes that maybe we can be nice to each other, (nice like sheep are nice to each other) unless…unless we happen to be a SUPERMAN, in which case, we can do whatever the fuck we like, maybe even kill and enslave other Human Beings, cuz…well…cuz we’re superior in mind and spirit to lesser Human Beings.

Beware of a German’s ability to come to a conclusion.

Immanuel Kant. Maybe he’s one of your good Germans.

Friedrich Nietzsche…definitely a wild and crazy German.

I’m not knock’n normal everyday Germans here. I know they followed along like sheep while Nazi Thugs slaughtered millions of Jewish Human Beings only because they were Jewish. Maybe it was all Hitler’s idea. I’m just saying. Beware of Germans when they’re being led along like sheep….

Where the hell was I?

Oh, yeah!

How to live when you don’t know why you’re living

We can’t prove God exists or doesn’t exist. The meaning of life is beyond our knowledge. This is a tough situation.

Tough when it comes to figuring out how to live.

So I’m a free booze sample dude. I work at your local Safeway store. I’m required to show up on time and work my shift. I’m being paid to offer samples by this company Herbal Inc, which is unaffiliated with Safeway but has contracted with them to allow me to do my job. Yet I’m not being supervised by Herbal Inc. Nor by the Safeway employees. All my interactions with my higher ups are done on a computer portal. I can put in my four hours at the store or I can leave the store and pretend I worked. Fill out my invoice and get paid for the pretend work. Essentially steal from my bosses. Odds are I won’t be caught because nobody’s watching me. Safeway management is chaotic. Meanwhile, Safeway customers are going about their business whether I’m there or not. Many of them shoplift. Others purchase their items. The odds are slim the shoplifters will face justice. There doesn’t seem to be any accountability for bad behavior. So why are people doing the right thing? This is a weird ass world I exist in.

Yet I’m pretty sure it’s for real!

Every friday money appears in my bank account. Complements of the nice people at Herbalist Inc.. I’ve been showing up for work and doing my shifts for more than a year. I figured out early on how I can get away with dodging a shift. I’ve never dodged a shift. Not yet anyway. I usually leave a little early. Cuz I figure I can get away with that. But no more than five minutes early. Is Fear the only reason I have yet to dodge a full shift and claim I worked? Maybe.

What about Guilt? Maybe…

Or Maybe I’m conducting my life in a loosely honest manner because…well…because I believe Kant has the right idea. Treat other people like Human Beings, not as a means to an end. I’m following the morality old Kant, the good German, espoused. He cooked it up after fretting over the meaning of life and coming up short. He figured it as a kind of consolation–which Nietzsche, by the way, saw through–for all the work he put in trying to justify pure reason. Yet what he settled on finally was nothing new. Jesus was preaching the same ethic. As was Buddha. And Lao Tse. And Zoroaster. And pretty much every religion on the planet.

It’s call the Golden Rule.

The Golden Rule’s better than nothing

I don’t know. These days it seems like the golden rule is for the birds. Take my pal Normal Guy. I got him a job with my company and he’s doing alright. But I wouldn’t say he’s following the Golden Rule. Not to the letter anyway.

Normal Guy masking his face from public scrutiny.

When Norm was out of work and down and out kind of, he’d shoplift. He was really good at it. He lived like a king on choice cuts of meat and ocean delicacies like Lobster and San Dabs and Jumbo Shrimp. He stole every single day. He stole because, well, because he had no money and he needed food. This is how he justified stealing. He didn’t necessarily steal because it felt good, stealing. That is to say, because it’s fun. But he admits it did feel good, making a clean get-a-way.

As a kid I stole because I had nothing, but also because it was fun. I no longer steal. I no longer need to steal to survive.

Lots of hard-ups out in the world these days

Lots more people are stealing. Times are getting tougher. As life gets harder to live will The Golden Rule go to the birds? Norm still steals. He got in the habit of stealing and it’s hard to break a habit, especially one that pays off. I’ve yet to start stealing. I’m still kinda following the Golden Rule. But if I fell on real hard times maybe I’ll toss the Golden Rule. Become a thief again. Like I was back in the day when I was too stupid and hungry to think straight.

Or maybe not.

You tell me.

Is the Golden Rule for the birds?