One rat sez to his pal, “Wow! We made it off that boat in the nic of time.“

Other rat sez, “No problem. That’s one thing we’re really good at…escaping a sinking boat.”

“Not always.”

“We made it this time, didn’t we? Tranquilo, amigo.”

“Okay, so I’m relaxing. What do we do now?”

“First we dry off…then we find a nice hole in the ground…a nice dry hole beats camping on a engine block.”

“So what do we talk about while we dry off?”

“I don’t know. Anything you like. Name it.”

“How about we talk about the Iran war President Trump started the other day.”

“You mean the Epstein war?”

“Is that what it’s called?”

“That’s what I call it. Donald Trump started the war to get people to stop talking about Jeffrey Epstein.”

“Wow! That sounds like a crazy reason to start a war.”

“Trump does crazy stuff. Like Tariffs. Like dancing to The Village People. Like dying his hair orange. You notice how he waves his hands around like a spastic?”

“I noticed that. Kind of like you see an infant do when it’s about to scream.”

“Ah, yes. An infant terrible.”

“So how are we doing with the war?

“The Epstein War? We lost.”

“Yeah? Does that mean we can stop bombing them and go home?

“Probably not.”

“I don’t get it. All we need to do is turn our ships around and go home. Trump can say he won like he says about everything he does. And that will be the end of it. Don’t you think?”

“I think, my friend, this is one mess Trump got us into he can’t get us out of. It’s only going to get worse, for him, and sadly, for us.”

“You mean…”

“Gas prices will continue to rise. Food prices will begin to spike. Sooner than later. Terrorist cells will pop up in all of our cities. The Iranians will continue to fire off drones. Drones are cheap, easy to make, even kids can make them. The Israeli’s will send in troops. We will send in troops. Trump can’t stop what he started. That hard liner supreme leader he killed? A younger hard liner supreme leader just took over. The old dude’s son. We killed his wife, his father, his son, you think he’s in the mood to make peace? And what if we or the Jews manage to kill the brand new supreme leader? They already got another one lined up to take his place. And another one. And another one. And another one. This is what I mean when I say we lost the war. We lost the war the minute the Iranians elected a new supreme leader. Everything we’ve done so far—bombing them, killing their leaders—all of it was for nothing. We’re back at square one. And gas prices continue to rise.”

“Well…I guess that means we’ll need to put boots on the ground.”

“You think?”

“You’re laughing. I’m serious. I don’t get it. Why are you laughing?”

Thursday 12 March around four p.m.

Day 12 of the Epstein War. I’m hanging out at the office for a change. Haven’t been here in a while. I’m watching a couple old gals banter about some silly shit. I like listening to them. They’re not talking about the war in Iran. Trumps brand new forever war. They’re just chatting away. They seem to be enjoying themselves.

Maybe I should stop watching the news all damned day. That way I’d be enjoying myself, too. Instead of obsessing over this herculean blunder Trump got us into.

Yeah…that’s the ticket. Head home and feed my bird.

He’s waiting for a cracker. He won’t need to hear about the Epstein war.

“Just the cracker, please.”

You know…I’m old enough to remember another war. Another one we lost. Back in the seventies. That one ended badly. This one could be worse. But, I don’t want to think about that…

I’d rather think of some silly shit…and feed my birds.