Old Age has few benefits

So far in my march toward oblivion I’ve managed to identify only one.

A single benefit?

That’s right. Just one. Here it is:

I can pretty much tell nowadays if a thing is genuine and has merit or if it’s just a pile of shit despoiling the pavement.

The downside of this estimable talent or skill is how depressed it makes me feel. Because just about everything these days is shit or mired in shit. Nothing seems real. Nobody acts real, or worse, knows the difference. People hold the most absurd beliefs. They’ll swear left is right, good is bad, up is down, and yet the world continues to turn. I’m thinking before long everything will be in the shitter.

Examples of genuine stuff

This is why I often find myself surprised and delighted by the obvious. Things a much younger or naïve person would find mundane. Things like this covered bus stop at the corner of Nevada street where I park my cars.

I have no need for this bus stop yet I admire it. Because it’s not bullshit. This is a solid and dependable bus stop. Old Dave, the 85 year old Anchor-out, sits here and waits for his bus. He stays dry in the rain. Other people waiting for the bus stay dry in the rain. There’s room for a dozen people to stay dry. What’s more, the bench inside is 10 feet long. Bums can sleep on the bench with relative ease. Plenty of bums camp at this bus stop. The cops leave the sleeping bums alone. Why? Because the cops around here are not cruel bastards. They know the bum is just a bum and needs a place to sleep. Especially in the rain…

It’s called compassion…a very small dose, admittedly, but noteworthy all the same.

Then there’s the deer. They come down off the hill, the Marin Coast trail, and poke around in the wooded area behind the bus stop. I caught a couple of them poking around this morning.

Kinda hard to catch them cuz they blend in to their surroundings.

The thing about deer. Not only are they shockingly real, completely devoid of bullshit, not only that. But the fact they exist and thrive within this environment of bullshit we human beings created is beyond a miracle. Unless of course they’re hitting us up for the trash we leave behind. In that case they’re smart. The same with all the other animals that hang around for a hand-out…

At lease you can depend on a sea gull not to pretend he’s hanging around for any other reason. He knows a soft touch when he sees one.

An open hatch offers an opportunity. I know, I know. It’s stupid of me to feed the sea gulls. That’s why they pester me. Because I feed them. Maybe it’s the connection I admire. Simple and direct. No ulterior motive.

No bullshit.

The other thing: I happen to like sea gulls…

Examples of bullshit

Trump Apologists like the two in the photo above disseminate the purest most rancid form of bullshit I have ever heard. Especially coming from this dude on the right. Mark Levin, who hosts the Fox News show, Life, Liberty and Levin. You’d need to go back to Joseph Goebbels to find a man more fanatical in his hate. I take that back. Goebbels, believe it or not, had the ability to charm. Levin shouts, screams, chortles and spews nastiness pretty much nonstop. Not only does Levin lie. He erased a huge truth he once told, and replaced it with a damned lie. Just like Ted Cruz did. Levin accidentally told the truth when he exposed Trump for the fraud he was early in 2016. He refused to back him until he realized which way the wind was blowing. At which point he lunged to the ground to hug the Master’s feet before snuggling up to kiss his bare ass. He’s been doing so non-stop now for the last few years. This has cemented him in Trump’s favor and insured Levin’s legacy as a hate-spewer par excellence.

Why do I care to hear anything from Mark Levin? I’m stuck listening to him when I hang at my girlfriend’s pad. She’s got the Fox News on high volume pretty much non-stop and invariably those voices of Levin and his ilk sneak into my consciousness on occasions where I remove my laptops’ earphones for a trip to the toilet, the fridge, etc….

I only need to hear a word or two of his before my ears sting.

I can always escape to Joan’s garden for relief.

Tranquil out there. No Bullshit.

Just the birds. Singing. No hate in Bird Songs….

Back inside I put on the headphones and play some music while I write this blog post.

Until I get interrupted.

Trumpy Joan is glaring at me

“What is it?”

She’s trying to explain this bill she got for three hundred bucks.

“What is it?”

“I told you already. My water bill.”

Oh, that’s right. Now I remember. She got this impossible water bill. Three hundred bucks. “That’s crazy. Something’s wrong.” Of course she knows something’s wrong. Her bill shouldn’t be over a hundred fifty max. So it’s the leak. Something’s leaking. Her toilet leaks. The back yard faucet leaks. “Those are the two things,” I tell her. But she’s waving the damned bill at me.

“I see the bill,” I tell her.

But this is not a bill. This is…what the fuck is it?

“I told you,” she says. “I made an appointment with the water company. And they’re sending somebody out. The inspector is coming on Tuesday…”

Now it dawns on me what this is all about. she called me the other day. Distraught. She’d gone back and forth on the phone with the man at the water company. He was so dismissive, she said. So rude. So condescending. Kept telling her maybe her bill wasn’t too high. Until she proved it was by comparing her bill with John’s next door. His was half what her bill is and he’s a mirror townhome to hers. So finally the man says he’ll send somebody out. On Tuesday. Around ten a.m..

She’s staring at me. Waving the bill or whatever it is.

“So that’s good,” I tell her. “He’ll be out on Tuesday and you’ll find out what’s the problem.”

“You don’t understand,” she says.

“What don’t I understand?”

“I don’t want him coming out with a clipboard.”

“A clipboard?”

“Last time he came out. He was waving a clipboard. I had to change my sprinkler system. We all did.”

Yeah, but that was everybody. This is just you. You alone. He’s coming out to inspect leaks. That’s all he’s doing. He’ll find the leak and…and that’s good. You’ll know what it is.”

“I don’t want him coming out here waving his clipboard at me. They are all the same. A bunch of LIBERAL DICTATORS.”

“Wait a minute. You mean like a Fascist?”

“Yes!”

“A Nazi even!”

“Yes!”

I can hear Mark Levin ranting in the background.

“Listen to me,” I tell her. “Hitler and Mussolini were dictators. The guy at the water department is not a dictator. Nor is he a Liberal….I mean he might be…”

“THEY ARE ALL LIBERALS. I KNOW THEY ARE. I CAN SMELL A LIBERAL. THEY THINK THEY’RE BETTER THAN US.”

Better that whom? Fascists? Or just Trumpies?

Dare I tell her I’m a Liberal. Wait a minute. I’m not a Liberal. I’m a Socialist. Whew!

“You don’t know if he’s a Liberal,” I explain. “He’s just a guy working at the Water Company.”

“You have no idea what they’re like. YOU DON’T PAY A WATER BILL!”

“I certainly do.”

I pay a fixed rate. 18 dollars a month, which includes electricity.

Thank God for the Double Lotus!

I get her to settle down. Tell her maybe call the water company and explain she doesn’t want the guy with the clipboard. She prefers the other guy. The guy watches Fox News. Send him out. I’m laughing. She’s not laughing. Okay, I tell her, I can sympathize. The fucking Liberals at the water company are sucking the blood of good god fearing conservatives like Joan. Or something like that. To tell you the truth. I tell her nothing. She cools down after a while…

The guy will come out. And who knows. He may be a Liberal Dictator from the Water Company bent on imposing drastic communist monetary penalties upon her. But I kind of doubt it. He’ll just be some dude with a back ache and maybe a hang-over from the game he watched Monday evening.

Why does the Bullshit of Politics need to be everywhere these days?

Why do I put up with my Trumpy Girlfriend? I don’t know. She needs me. I guess I need her, too. I’m not as rigid as I used to be. Rigidity is an indulgence better suited to the young. Even more to the young Dictators. Long as she needs me I’ll probably hang around.

Wow! One other possible Benefit of Old Age just occurred to me!

Sometimes not always but sometimes I feel as though this Benefit has been offered to me. I’ve become more Liberal. Not with everybody. Certainly not toward those who spew hatred. But definitely toward basically kindhearted and abused people. People who’ve had a few hard knocks. Like my girlfriend. Even those that are wrong-headed. Like my girlfriend. And who knows. Maybe the water dude really is a Liberal Dictator with a clipboard.

If there is such a thing….

Oh, but to be back in the year 1967!

Back in the Summer Of Love…