Remember me? the Gloomy Boomer?

I’m still here.

But pretty soon I’m just gonna disappear.

Just like that.

One minute I’ll be standing there, staring at my boat, sipping coffee.

The next minute, I’m gone.

Just like that?

Yeah. Maybe I’ll reappear later in another form. Reincarnate, like the Hindu’s do. I’m a half-ass Hindu. So maybe I’ll reappear. As a human? No, I’ve had my fill of humans. Maybe I’ll come back as one of the Brothers.

One of the brothers, eating a cookie.

Maybe I won’t come back as one of the Brothers. I’ve got an affinity for the little critters. I empathize with their struggles. It’s like we share a bond. Almost as if I was one of them in another life.

I think so. Yes, yes, I feel it in my bones. I was once a Brother.

A 100 million year old giant cockroach, BLATTODEA, encased in amber.

That was me. A foot long cockroach from a hundred million years ago.

I was big then.

Maybe I’ll come back as something else

Or maybe not. I’ll be honest. If it was up to me, I wouldn’t come back at all. Matter of fact, I don’t think the big dude or momma running this shit show wants me back, either. How do I know this? Cuz most jobs I’ve had in my life, the bosses didn’t want me back. They were happy to be rid of me. So there’s that. Besides, I got no urge to come back. Been there, done that…kinda sums up my philosophy on just about everything. So no, I wouldn’t bet on me coming back. Once I’m gone I’m gone. And good riddance, those asshole bosses used to say.

Jesus came back. He came back as himself, not a cockroach. He was what they call resurrected…from the dead. I’m telling you, He came back. A billion Christians (minus the heretics) are in agreement JESUS CAME BACK.

So he’s good. But me? Ha! I don’t rate coming back in my present form. I’m not good enough. If I were as good as Jesus I’d have disciples. People devoted to me. Devoted to the point where they’re willing to give up their own identities and follow me wherever I wander….

A Trump disciple bowing to her lord and savior

Donald Trump might disappear and come back. I know that’s a tall order…hey wait a minute. He did come back! He’s President again. And when he finally dies, chances are he’ll come back to the living just as Jesus did. He’ll be resurrected. His disciples are counting on it.

Others are raising their arms in positive affirmation to their new Leader…

It’s a fun game these Maga People like to play. I’m not among them.

I’m still here though!

For the moment at least.

How am I doing? My limber parts are stiff, while parts of me that oughta get stiff don’t get stiff when they oughta. Coconut oil helps. I’m good once I’m lubed.

My head feels normal.

I am normal.

It’s the world that’s gone off the rails. The world aint right anymore. Maybe you feel it. If you’re old, like me, you probably feel it. I mean, I’m Looking around at all this crazy shit….It never used to be this way. Not long ago things were normal. People were normal. Now everything’s changed. People act like nothing’s changed while everything has spun upside down. The difference between now and the old normal times is like… it’s like night and day!

The world has changed in so many ways. I don’t know where to start.

Here’s one glaring example :

In 1971, when I was eighteen years old, my Country, the good old U.S.A., discovered, through courageous journalism, that we had a bona fide Crook occupying the White House.

This revelation shocked the nation. In spite of the evidence against him, the Crook famously proclaimed, “I’m no crook!” But a collective outrage forced him out of office. He didn’t need to be impeached. He knew the gig was up, and he grudgingly resigned. You might even say he did the honorable thing by resigning. I’m no Republican but I’ll admit that Tricky Dick looks way better today than he did in 1971.

Fifty some odd years later…

In 2024, when I was seventy one years old, my country, the good old U.S.A., elected a Crook.

That’s right! We bought his game going in!

We elected a convicted felon, a man with a rap sheet Lucky Luciano would admire.

Lucky Luciano, father of the modern American Mafia.

Donald Trump, the newly elected President of the good old U.S.A.

Everybody knows he’s a Crook. Especially the people who voted for him. I’m not talking about just the nut jobs, like the buffalo head, who’s serving time, and may soon be pardoned by guess who…

No…I’m talking seemingly normal people like my girlfriend Joan.

Joan is law abiding to a fault…

She operates on common sense.

Joan’s not wearing a buffalo head.

But she voted for Donald Trump…she watches Fox News, exclusively…she’s an avowed Trumpy.

I don’t get it.

I tried asking her why. “Why did you vote for this man? How can you, a straight arrow to the max, support a crook?”

She looked at me like I’m stupid. Like there’s something wrong with me! I’m somehow defective because I didn’t support a Con Man, Convicted Felon, Poser, Sex Deviant, etcetera and so on.

I’m somehow defective because I applied my common sense to Donald Trump.

All I can say is, these are some strange times we’re living in…

Not quite the Zombie Apocalypse….not yet.

Still, legions of people voted for the Trumpy. Could be, something out there infected these 70 something million people. Invaded their minds. And they’re just now starting to evolve into something terrible and strange…and…and…and sooner than later all hell’s gonna break loose.

How do I know this?

Well, Trumpy is President again. I rest my case…

But wait a minute.

There’s more.

The Signs

There’s signs out there that portend the impending cataclysms. I’m no Prophet but I’ve been keeping my eyes sharpened and my ears peeled. I’ve been taking note of the signs. Not taking notes. I was never good at taking notes. My class notes never made sense. No. I’m talking taking note. Noticing shit. Odd shit’s been popping up around the world. Like for instance the appearance of a new messiah!

A new messiah

That’s right. A Messiah is roaming the land. Travis Timmerman is the new Messiah. How do I know this? Well, lets look at it. A 29 year old former divorce lawyer from Missouri is found wandering barefoot along the streets of Damascus. The Evil Assad police arrested him and he spent 7 months in one of their fetid tombs.

Timmerman was last seen in Budapest, Hungary, in early June. On Thursday, he told reporters in Damascus that he had been on a pilgrimage and was detained earlier this year after crossing into Syria on foot from Lebanon. NPR

Upon his release he resumed his spiritual quest but was sidelined by the résistance fighters, now soldiers of a newly liberated Syria. These ak-47 packing dudes needed to know what was up with Travis. He told them he’d been purged of all earthly desires while in prison. They asked him how he handled it behind bars. He said it wasn’t too bad except they wouldn’t let him go to the bathroom. Image that. These Dudes are nodding at each other. They’re slapping Travis on the back. They dig him. They bought him a brand new pair of running shoes. Oh, yeah, this is definitely a holy man! We might see him as a nut, but these Syrians, they know a Messiah when they see one. And another thing! Not a word of Timmerman on Fox News. Joan’s never heard of him. Fox News doesn’t report this kind of shit. You know why?

Because they’re ignorant of the signs!

I mean come on. Travis Timmerman. From Missouri. A former divorce lawyer. Wandering barefoot in the holy lands. You watch. Before long he’ll be performing miracles.

A new John Brown

For those of you who don’t know shit, the Old John Brown was an pre-civil war abolitionist who decided to take the law into his own hands and rain down fire and brimstone upon the slave holders of Kansas. He went on a shooting spree and managed to slaughter a pack of white people several of whom were not slave holders at all. But the main deal is, he saw his role as righteous and many people agreed with him. His actions got him hanged. But he may have helped push the country into the civil war, which led to the abolition of slavery. So I guess you could say he Martyred himself.

Luigi Mangione is the new John Brown

That’s right. The dude who shot the Health Care CEO. Shot him in cold blood. Came up behind him on the street and pumped a few slugs in his back. Victim was minding his own business. On his way to a meeting. Didn’t make it to the door before this kid whacked him Mafia Style. Luigi is not a Mafia Dude. Although he’s got a perfect name for a Mafia dude. Instead, he’s a kid just graduated with honors from a ivy league college. A star athlete. The kind of kid Mothers are proud of. Not the kind of kid goes around whacking CEO’s Mafia Style.

No, this kid was on a mission. He whacked out the CEO for the same reason John Brown whacked out those supposed Kansas slave-holders. He knew he’d get caught. He Martyred himself. Now, like John Brown before him, Luigi is being celebrated around the world as a fighter for Justice. Even in some corners as a saintly figure.

A popular meme of Luigi Mangione as a saint. (Social media)

People are fed-up with the greed and avarice that dominates the Health Care Insurance companies. People want some kind of justice. And if they don’t get it from the system they’ll look elsewhere.

Check out Bill Burr’s screed on the topic:

So you got your Messiahs and your John Brown-type Martyrs hopping around. Foretelling shit. The coming grimness.

All the disruptions and cataclysms.

What else you got?

How about a False Prophet?

A false prophet

In the Bible, a false prophet is someone who claims to speak for God but actually spreads false messages or teachings. The Bible describes false prophets as dangerous and warns against being led astray by them. complements of AI

I found this book on my girlfriend’s desk. I sneaked a peek. Turns out she’s been reading this book very seriously. Taking notes. She’s got slips of paper bookmarking parts of this book. She doesn’t want to mark it up. She is very respectful of the printed word. But this book! It’s about this dude, a normal every day dude, he’s a painter, not a artist, a house painter… don’t get me wrong I got nothing against house painters but this guy’s no Piccasso, let me tell you, he’s just a friggin house painter. This dude, this house painter, he starts having these dreams and visions of a man come to save the world. And guess what? This dude he’s dreaming about, this dude come to save the world? He’s none other than Donald Trump. Not just normal old asshole con-man Donald Trump. Donald Trump the savior! This poor schlep, this house painter, he’s dreaming about how Donald Trump is gonna save the world.

I almost feel sorry for him.

Except people are taking him seriously. They believe his dreams are real!

My girlfriend is reading his book like it’s serious shit.

It is serious shit…

To a Maga toid!!!!

Finally, you got the Weather

Okay, so you got your Messiahs and Martyrs and your False Prophets running around raising hell and spewing shit. Forecasting the End Times…kinda, sorta. The upheavals and world wide disruptions, etcetera, etcetera, and so on. How much more do you need?

How about a Weather event?

Like, say, a Tornado in Scott’s Valley!

A full sized tornado. Ripping up trees. Flipping camper vans. Stirring the shit left and right. A real live Tornado. Shit. I grew up just down the hill from Scott’s Valley. I never seen a Tornado in my life. Nobody in my neck of the woods ever saw a real live full scale Tornado…least not one baring down on our asses. We just don’t get Tornados in Santa Cruz…

Until now.

Yes, yes, this is yet another sign.

A sign of what?

I don’t know. I’m no prophet. Or a false prophet, even. I’m no kind of prophet. That would require dedication and hard work, two items absent from my profile. I’m the Gloomy Boomer. I know very little. I know for certain one thing I can foretell:

“Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. Then the worms eat you. Be grateful it happens in that order”. 

I didn’t even say that.

David Gerrold said it.

Yeah, I know. I never heard of him, either..

So I’m out of here.

I’ll leave you with a tune from the good old days.

When people had their heads on straight…