Tune Up Your Gloom With A Country Song
I’ve been feeling like shit lately
Nothing specific. Things have actually been going pretty well. My boats still for sale but nobody’s coming up with any real cash. No big deal. I’m living cheap in Sausalito.
A High Roller’s Suck Ass Tourist Town!
What else is going well? Shit. My Girlfriend still loves my tired old ass. I don’t know why. She must think I’m one of them Quality Dudes the old broads dream about. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
What else? I’m still working my suck ass free booze sample job. What’s good about that? It’s a nothing job. But that’s the thing. All I gotta do is show up and schmooze the cheapskates. I don’t even gotta hang out the full shift. I got the gig wired now. I show up an hour late and leave an hour early. No big deal. CAMERAS COVER EVERY SQUARE INCH of the store but nobody’s watching….soon I’ll be showing up for a hour maybe and getting paid for four…ha! ha! ha! ha! ha!
Here I am!
Here I’m not!
One of these days they’ll catch me not showing up and I’ll loose my suck ass free booze sample job. No big deal. That’s when I shove off for Ipanema Beach.
I’ll hang down there with some old broads I met at the Lord Jim Pub. Hang on the beach till I croak. Nobody cares. Everybody’s laughing. Last time I was there…was when? 1991 or thereabouts. I was still a young man. 38 years old. I’ll bet the beach has changed very little since. While old Gloomy got old.
Maybe that’s the deal!
Maybe that’s why I’m feeling like shit. I’m old. I feel old. No sharp pains but a lot of sore bones. I’m not moving with the same quickness like the old days. I’m old. And the thing is, I got nobody to blame but myself. And it’s not just that I’m old. I’m getting older. It don’t stop. You keep getting old! Until you’re dead….meanwhile, you get older and older and older!
Like this dude.
or this one. His shirt don’t help….
His wife is having a triple. Maybe his shirt depresses her.
This guy, Walter, one of my regulars, he don’t like being old either. Maybe he’s depressed cuz he’s old. Or maybe staring at the shirt hurts.
I feel about as chipper as a cat in a line up.
“We’re not very good at writing happy stuff”
All I can think to do to beat my depression is play a country song. Why? Because Country songs are songs for the depressed White Trash of the world. That’s what I am. So I might as well play one for the good times. Maybe that’ll make me feel better. Shit. Maybe I’ll play two country songs by a band I like. I don’t like a lot of country music but I like these guys, a band called The Far West. They are not very good at writing happy stuff but that’s the whole point of a country song, isn’t it? Check out the link. Or Google them. It’s easy to Google these days. Just type in your question. Google’s in with the A.I. and they can answer all your questions. I mean all of them. All of them, that is, except maybe…why do I need to get old?