If you been following me you know I drive a company car that I’ve been driving since it was new but over the last couple years, more or less, the owner of my company he went insane and killed his own company out of rage and neglect kind of like a formery compassionate dude strangles his own baby. It was sick how he did it. Now he’s a demented shell of himself running a scraping operation out of his warehouse. Me, I still got the company car. Been driving around with the company logos on the car like I’m advertizing a mafia body dump site. It aint quite that bad, but still. Am I afraid? I’m not afraid people will call the 800 number emblazoned on the bumpers because the number is defunct. Same with the contractor’s licenses. Frankly, I aint afraid of shit. Except lately….I learned from Paul Bundy, the other dude driving the other company car which he aint returned either…I learned from Bundy that AAA won’t tow you with commercial logos on your car.

So I gotta remove the Logos.

They peeled right off

So I got no choice. What’s the point of carrying AAA if they won’t tow your ass? I approached the task with dread. Figured I’d make a mess of it, like I do everything. I started off using oven cleaner. A trick I discovered from watching YouTube videos. It removed the paint pretty well. I tried a razor scraper and discovered to my glee that all the logos were comprised of tape.

They tape peeled right off.

So I spent a couple days, leisurely removing the tape.

Pretty soon a normal white Prius began to present itself. Like taking a ugly thing and giving it a new life.

Nothing left but wads of tape beside the stool

A Nike Swoosh?

I got down to this swoosh, formerly part of my company’s design logo. The logo dude had sneaked in the swoosh thinking he’d give his design some potency, like adding a bit of fentanyl to the heroin. A Nike Swoosh? I’m staring at it. All I gotta do now is peel it off. Get rid of this corporate brand.

But I’m thinking twice about peeling it off.

It looks…it looks pretty cool there. Attached to the front door panels.

Gives the Prius some personality.

A Nike Swoosh.

I don’t know. I like the look of the swoosh but I don’t like big ass Corporations swinging their weight around while little fuckers like me and the rest of you billions of little fuckers out there eat shit and die. They don’t care about us. They only pretend to care.

A bit of Nike Swoosh history

The following is a direct quote from an article by Ruth Umoh:

The Swoosh is the logo of American sportswear designer and retailer Nike. Today, it has become one of the most recognizable brand logos in the world, and the most valuable, having a worth of $26 billion alone.

In 1971, Portland State University graphic design student Carolyn Davidson was sitting in the hall when she mentioned not having enough money to take a class. She was then approached by accounting professor Phil Knight about freelance work for his company, Blue Ribbon Sports. Blue Ribbon Sports decided to launch their own brand of football shoe, called the Nike. Knight once again asked Davidson to create a design for this new brand.

Over 17 and a half hours was spent making the design. Davidson wanted to convey motion in a design that would look clean and classic when placed on a shoe. Importantly, the design needed to differ from rival company Adidas. The Swoosh is created using two curved lines, depicting motion with onomatopoeia attached as well. Say “swoosh” out loud. What do you imagine? Even the word has an element of movement included. She worked by sketching designs on tissue paper and then placing those designs over a shoe drawing.

At first, Knight and his business partners were not impressed by the design but decided to move forward with the Swoosh. Now, the logo represents so much more than motion. For a multi-billion company that has established itself as an authority in the world of sports, that Swoosh refers to a lifestyle rather than a specific product.

So the Swoosh came to be. For her efforts in the project, Davidson received $35. Following the success of Nike, Davidson was awarded a ring with an embedded diamond and an envelope containing 500 shares of Nike stock.

Ruth Umoh, appearing in CNBC

What’s a share of Nike Stock worth?

95 bucks a share.

But Davidson never sold her shares. Shares often multiply like Toadstools. Here, thanks to a little AI help, is what her original shares are worth today:

As of April 14, 2023, 500 shares of Nike stock was worth $4 million. This is based on a gift of 500 shares given to Carolyn in 1983, which would be worth 32,000 shares today. 

As of June 2024, Nike has a market cap of $143.46 billion, making it the 94th most valuable company in the world by market cap. 

This info Compliments of Artificial Intelligence…. A.I. may be enveloping our everyday lives like mind eaters…until one day we’ll move like Triffids in Nike T-shirts…

A Triffid

I could move like a Triffid. It wouldn’t bother me too much. I’m not gonna wear a Nike t-shirt, however. Wearing corporate logos is kinda stupid.

That’s just my opinion.

You want to wear an adidas hoodie, go ahead.

So the Nike big Dudes tossed Carolyn Davidson some crumbs

But Carolyn, the inventor of the Nike Logo, she was clear thinking enough never to sell her crumbs, I mean her shares…to this day she still has her shares. That makes her a millionaire. It was none of NIke’s doing making her a millionaire. It was Carolyn’s good sense and the fallout of Corporate growth that made Carolyn relatively rich. So good for her.

As for me, I’m just sitting around like a Trifid.

They won’t get me, however. They won’t turn me into a zombie. I’m wised up. Not only am I wised up. I’m too old. I’m too damn old. Corporations, unless they’re peddling Penis Stiffeners or Condo’s in Palm Beach, they don’t have much use for Old Farts like me.

They like young people.

Young people make the best Triffids.

So what am I gonna do with this Nike Swoosh on my company car?

I’m outside the office. Sitting on my tiny stool in the parking lot. Got my razor scraper in my hand. I’m about to peel off the swoosh. The Nike Swoosh. While I’m sitting there, The Phony Australian dude appears. I aint seen him in a while.

“Shit, where you been, man? I aint seen you in a while.”

“Been to Australia, Mate. Visiting me Mum….”

“Yeah, right.”

“What?”

“Nothing. Where’s you’re dog?”

“Tippy? He’s in the car, taking a kip.”

“Good place for him.”

“What you up to, Mate?”

“I’m removing this Nike Swoosh from my car. I can’t be giving corporate devils free advertising.”

“That aint no Nike Swoosh, Mate.”

“What?”

“What you have on your car. A Nike Symbol, It aint bent like that, mate.”

The Phony Australian Dude removes his hat and presents me with the proper Nike logo.

“Look here, mate. This is a Nike Swoosh.”

“I’ll be damned.”

“I don’t know what you got there, mate. But it aint no Nike Swoosh.”

I’ll be damned

He’s right. What I got on my car is this:

Not this:

So I’m good.

I can keep my own personal swoosh.

Cuz it looks pretty good on the car. Gives it some style.

As for Corporate Logos. I will never ever ever wear one.

Unless it’s one I appreciate. Like these guys.