I started this blog intending to cash in. You know, make money. Sell shit. Advertise shit. If nothing else, sell my Novel. [Click the link and buy my novel. Listen. It won’t enter your heart like Jesus but you’ll get 12 bucks worth of laughs. Shit.]

Where was I? Oh, yeah, I meant to GENERATE INCOME with this Blog. So far, I have made NOTHING.

All I do is talk shit.

I’m sitting here in Starbucks with all the other pathetic people. We got nothing to do but come here and stare at our screens. Stare out at the rain. This is what happens to a discarded soul. Oogy the Indian Barista loves me. She loves all the losers. Climate Bomb raging outside. Scruffy’s about to sink. I’m driving a Clown Car. I’ll be seventy this year and what’ve I got?

Shinola is what I got.

I’m about ready to pop a death pill.

End this shit.

Man, am I depressed.

I need some kind of pick me up.

I’ll listen to my favorite Rolling Stones Song.

Maybe that’ll lift my spirits:

That helped!

But I’m still depressed.

Maybe what I need is some perspective.

There’s people out there worse off than me, right?

Where do I find these people?

Reddit

I’m checking out this sub reddit called Suicide Watch.

Let’s see. What do we got here?

How about this one:

My Life Is Horrible

I’m in my 30’s, still live with my parents, work a minimal wage job stocking shelves at a grocery store and have zero friends. I suffer from Aspergers and also have crippling social anxiety. I can’t even remember the last time I had a friend. I joined two groups for adults with Aspergers, hoping I could find someone to relate to, but no one wanted anything to do with me because I am so socially awkward. I remember once I had free ride tickets to a carnival that was in town. Not one person wanted to go with me. The other group members would often get together and do things outside of group and I was never invited. Eventually, I got tired of being left out and quit that group. I joined another recently and had no luck there either. I have a sister that is a few years younger than me. She treats me horrible. In fact, ever since she became popular in high school, she stopped talking to me. When she lived at home she would talk shit about me with her friends and make fun of me while I was within earshot. My parents never did anything about her behavior. Eventually, she got married and moved out. I wasn’t even invited to the wedding. She now makes 6-figures and often sends my parents pictures of her vacations. She goes on trips at least 5-6 times a year. It makes me even more depressed hearing about all the fun stuff she does. I never get to do anything. My parents don’t like to go places so I’m always stuck at home. Going by myself is out of the question with my issues and lack of money. In my 34 years of living, I’ve literally never been more than 300 miles away from home and that was to go to a hospital. I wish I could go places and see the world. It makes me so depressed that I’ll never be able to do that. My parents also seem to favor my sister. My dad has taken her on multiple trips, but never takes me anywhere no matter how much I beg. He always says someday we’ll go somewhere, but it never happens. Now his health is bad and he can’t travel. When it’s my birthday, they never make much of an effort. All I want is to go out to eat or do something special. Instead, I just get a $10 gift card to Dunkin Donuts or McDonalds. I don’t even eat there. When I suggest going to my favorite restaurant, they say they don’t feel like going out. They do the complete opposite for my sister’s birthday. Even though she lives 3000 miles away, they send her tons of gifts. Then she always has to brag about what she gets from her friends. Some of her girl friends are taking her to Cancun, Mexico for her birthday. Another friend got her the latest iPhone, another is giving her a ride on his plane and a hot air balloon ride. I’m just so sick of hearing about it. I’ve been to multiple therapists, changed my meds multiple times and nothing helps. Honestly, if my family treated me better and was more supportive of my issues I wouldn’t be so depressed. Of course there’s nothing to do to change it. I think about killing myself every day just to escape this misery. My quality of life is very poor. Before you suggest moving out, I’ve already thought of that. The only place I’ll be able to afford is an apartment and I don’t do well living in apartments due to lack of privacy and noisy neighbors. I feel more comfortable where I’m at now. The problem is, when my parents die, they are leaving the house to both me and my sister. I think it’s unfair because she already has a million dollar home and doesn’t need this house. Instead, she’ll buy me out with her money and I’ll be left homeless. Hopefully by then I’ll already be dead.

I read the definition of Asperger’s syndrome.

It fits me perfectly.

Yeah…but what about this kid?

Well, at least he or she’s getting the house.

or half the house.

I’m an old fart at the end of my rope.

I’m worse off than this kid.

What else we got?

Here is a Person with Heavy Grimness

I’ll include the comments on this one.

I can’t do it anymore. I can’t take the constant rejection and loneliness I feel every day anymore. I’m beginning to plan my suicide tonight.

I don’t want to wake up alone anymore. I have so much love to give and all I’ve ever wanted was someone to accept it, accept me. But no one has and no one ever will. My dream of being loved, having a family, having a life with someone has become no more than a burden and a weight that’s drug me down to the bottom of the ocean. All I feel is cold, indifferent, alone, forgotten. I’ve looked up to the surface for so long praying for a hand to pull me out or even someone to meet me at the bottom but I’ve sunk too low for anyone to reach by now. Goodbye.

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level 1

cybermoons·5 hr. ago

If there is nothing that holds u in this life why don’t u pretend to be reborn? Move away somewhere absolutely random and pretend ur life just started. That’s what I would do if I had the chance to.

[pretend to be reborn? are you serious? STOP COMMENTING. YOU ARE LOONY TOON DANGEROUS]

level 1

Singe10·6 hr. ago

Idk what I can really say to make u feel okay, but if by any chance you’re reading this I hope u know that people do care and it’s useless to be hopeless when u could be doing much more. I’ve gone down the same path too many times but it’s okay u can get through this. Please, not for u but for the future friends and family u may have in the future please live for them if u can’t for yourself. (Btw I’m new to reddit idk if that was obvious or something I should mention)

[That’s a hell of a lot better. You have a future in consoling]

level 1

kaylalove05·4 hr. ago

I had that same dream. I wanted love, family and a home more than anything. That’s why I held on for so long. Cause I have yet to experience this world’s greatest gifts. But there’s only so much hell a soul can take. Wish instead of everyone telling people to hold on, they would just be there for people. No one can make that dream a reality without help.

[thanks for nothing, kaylalove!]

level 1

nothingoodeverhappen·3 hr. ago

I know how you feel and its why I am going to end it soon. Reddit proves how horrible people are and I really see no point in living in a world with such shitty people.

[whoa! back up. What?]

level 1

HarleyTheChihauhau·9 hr. ago

[ Removed by Reddit ]

[I guess you gotta say some serious nasty callous shit to get removed by Reddit]

level 2

BrushFrequent1128·4 hr. ago

Agree my therapist just told me today that she won’t stop me from it because she understands the constant suffering is not fair

[Your Therapist said that? Really? oh, come on! this is not helping the poor thing…]

level 3

CrazyCorgiGirl22·2 hr. ago

Wtf

[my sentiment exactly!]

level 2

SumBuddyPlays·8 hr. ago

I thought this subreddit was about support not encouragement to end one’s life.

[Ditto!]

level 3

x-everybody-lies·7 hr. ago

what, like “it’s gonna get better” sorta shit?

[yeah…something like that]

level 4

gh05t-b0y·2 hr. ago

you don’t need to lie to people in order to support them, but you definitely must not encourage them to commit suicide.

[there you go!]

level 3

gh05t-b0y·2 hr. ago

it is. Harley here has made more comments like this and I reported them.

[you reported Harley the Chihuahua? Good for you.]

level 1

SenpaiKenay·8 hr. ago

Pull through man

[well said, SenpaiKenay.]

Shit’s hitting the fan out there

Climate bomb’s about to hit my boat.

I don’t know what I’m gonna do.

Sit here. Maybe grab a refill.

I do feel a hell of a lot better, though.

Those Reddit people. They want love.

I don’t need love. I’m pushing seventy. I’m on the tail end, here. I can wait. Cuz I don’t have long to wait.

Ha!

I can just sit here with my blog and feel the cool vibe of the other losers. Think about shit. Later I’ll visit my girlfriend. She still digs the gloomer.

“Well it just goes to show…things are not what they seem.”

Yeah, let me share something with you.

This is a real weblog.

Justin Hall started the first blog and it was all about shit in his life. Like a Diary. He wasn’t out to make money. So there you have it. That’s what I got here. I’m a loser but in spite of my feeble efforts I’m doing the Weblog thing.

I think he’s selling pot now.

Maybe I could do that.