Every now and then I need to remind myself I’m not a monster.

I never made it.

I started out early enough. At eleven years old I buried a twelve year old neighbor of mine alive. That was a good start. But they dug him up in time. He was in a coma for a while but he came out of it and actually pretty much recovered all his faculties. So I never really made it as a killer. You could call me an attempted killer. But who brags about being in the minor leagues?

I worked at being a criminal, from shoplifting, to home burglaries, to various scams, including drug dealing…at one point I was a military deserter and during that period of absence I tried to make it in the Underworld. And yet like many pursuits I’ve attempted with less than a true champion’s determination, I drifted like a rudderless boat onto the shores of law abiding behavior.

I have not committed a crime I’m particularly proud of since I was nineteen years old. By twenty any urge to join a mob of crooks was now directed into legitimate pursuits like College.

My sensibilities have no evolved. I hate most people. Especially Quality People. People who’ve made it in life and want everybody to know it. These are usually white people. They like to display their wealth in all the obvious ways. Cars, homes, vacations, investment portfolios, etc., etc..

The women carry bags worth more than what you’d score robbing a bank teller.

I don’t mind wealthy Black People.

I figure they’re wealthy because they got over on white people, so they get points for that. The same with Mexicans. I’m rooting for those people. And besides, I dig the neck chains and lowered rides.

I’m not saying you gotta be Black or Mexican to own these items. I’m an old white dude. I think I’d look silly wearing a king chain and driving a hopp’n low rider car. That’s all I’m saying…

My heros are the same

I pretty much admire the same people I did back when I was an aspiring crook. Here’s a few of them:

Then there are those I admire the most

Of all the people I admire, the one’s I admire the most are Holy People.

I’m not bullshitting you. A true Holy Person has something in common with the great criminals and revolutionaries of the world. They follow their own path. They do what nobody else has the courage to do: give up everything, cut out all the meaningless shit…choose to be good when it doesn’t pay.

I’m not talking about Billy Graham or Jimmy Swaggart or Deepak Chopra or even the current Pope. These are not true Holy Men. (I dunno, maybe Francis is a runner up.) A true Holy Man wanders the land like a Pilgrim. Sits on a bench like a Hobo. They can be anywhere or nowhere. They teach what they know. They do GOOD without putting it on a calendar. They don’t work for money. IF they have anything it’s only because it was donated to them by admirers. Often they resist help from these people, especially those they suspect of having a profit incentive. True Holy Men are few and far between in the Good Old U.S.A..

Examples of True Holy Men

John The Baptist.

Francis Of Assisi.

Black Elk

It happens that true Holy Men often end up martyred for their beliefs, as was the case with John The Baptist and Father Stanley Rother.

A very obvious Holy Man

I have yet to mention one true Holy Man.

Because…well, because he’s ubiquitous.

Jesus was certainly a true Holy Man. He fits all the requirements. He owned nothing. He wandered the land. He spoke hard truths to his followers. He was Martyred.

I have difficulty admiring Jesus because he not really a man. The true believers and others with an agenda made him into a God. The son of God. Which, without labouring the point, is the same as a God.

I mean, I have trouble feeling sorry for a God. Unlike Francis of Assisi, who talked to birds and a wolf, or John The Baptist, a real scruffy dude in a hair shirt, Jesus has no flaws. I don’t see him picking his feet or waking up with a wine hangover. He did no wrong. A perfect being is hard to get close to.

I have trouble with all these masses of Christians out there who’ve found Jesus. Who’ve opened their hearts to Jesus. I’m thinking maybe they got hoodwinked by somebody along the way. I’d ask them but then you got to put with a painful lecture.

I wouldn’t have any trouble letting Francis Of Assisi into my heart. He was a loveable guy. I’ve read several biographies of Francis of Assisi. I’m gonna go out on a limb here and confess something to you. When I read stuff about Francis, I choke up a little. I don’t mean I’m sobbing. But I do well up a little…

Jesus is not somebody I’d want to have a beer with. I don’t get all choked up thinking about him. How can all these people get so personal with Jesus? I guess if you’re using him to rescue your desperate soul you’ll make the effort. If you’re on death row you make a concerted effort.

A True American Holy Woman

My mother used to drag me around to all the churches. She tried to get me tight with Jesus. To be honest, I don’t think even she was tight with Jesus. But I do believe my Mother could recognize true Holiness when she saw it. One day she gave me a book written by this woman Peace Pilgrim. (check out the link)

I took the book but I was hesitant to look beyond the cover. Mainly because my Mother passed on a lot of religious hokum to me over the years. But something got me reading Peace Pilgrim’s story. And I kept reading. For one thing, because she spoke plainly and in her own words. For another thing, because she DIDN’T PREACH.

She did what Ram Dass did. What Krishnamurti did. What Eckhart Tolle does. She explained in simple words her own spiritual journey.

The Genius of a Holy Man is showing the deepest meaning in simple language. There’s no other way to do it. And if the person who’s explaining has nothing but the cloths on her back, and is walking the land with a smile on her face, AND she sounds perfectly rational, it’s hard not to believe she’s the genuine object: A True Holy Woman.

There’s probably lots of reasons why the Good Old U.S.A. has not produced more Holy Men and Women. Maybe it’s because everybody’s on the make, including Preachers. (See Elmer Gantry)

India has Holy Men on every corner. You can pick up a holy man cheap over there. Even True Holy Men. Maybe the Hindu religion has something to do with it. Or…..maybe they’re just more civilized over there.

I don’t know the answer

I do know this. Peace Pilgrim is our true american Holy Woman. I admire the hell out of her. I even choke up a little with I think of her. I would recommend her book to all of you Boomers out there who’re in need of a little Spiritual Uplifting. In need of expressing Joy and Gratitude. Especially around this time of the year. It’s not too late to get tight with The Holy Spirit. None of us are getting any younger.

Anyway, The Gloomer is not a Preacher. Neither is Peace Pilgrim. Check out her video: